Seven

The Lactic Report,  5.21.11  “Seven”

SANDBAGS XI.  

Private Joker: “The dead know only one thing: it is better to be alive.”

~ Full Metal Jacket

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (11)

Buck (11)

Doc (10)

Smoke (8)

One-Lap (7)

Rock (5)

Recruit (1)*

*(F)NG

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire:  Three laps around the field followed by warm up stretches and then another nasty version of ‘Round the Horn’.   Twenty reps, a nice even number, was a source of acrimony and gall.  Brethren, anything less isn’t even worth getting out of bed for… and if the only thing you have to complain about is the number of repetitions then consider yourselves truly blessed.  Hey, the world was supposed to end Saturday at 6pm; I wanted to make this one helluva a workout … just in case.

The Dirty Details:  After the Ring, two-man teams tackled the notorious Seven Lanes of Pain.  For some it was ‘bizness as usual’; for others it was …<ahem> a nail biter.  When an FNG shows up, you never quite know how that will turn out.  Virgin territory my brothers, virgin territory.  But Recruit survived and he’s a better man for it.  A scrod alert midway thru the Ring was untimely.  A yak-attack during Timber Lunges was just … well, let’s just call it unfortunate.   That’s hallowed ground you’re standing on – don’t yak on my field.

Random grains of sand ….

Full Calendars:   KX, Michigan and Halle Berry.  Some e-dribble trickled in mid-week about soccer tourneys and trout streams.   

Trend Lines:  When a brother texts me on a Friday night and says ‘I’ll be there’ and then fails to show … well, we assume something came up and we take it in stride.  No need for apologies – just bring your mojo next week and all will be forgiven.  But don’t make it a habit … just sayin’

The Big Spit (part deux):  Brothers, do we need a class on proper nutrition?  Recruit is a newbie so I’ll concede him this one yak.  Perhaps he gave my mid-week email describing what to expect only a cursory read.  Or perhaps our relative age difference (25+ years) gave Recruit a false sense of security.  I remember being 21 and bullet proof.  All that piss & vinegar; it can be both a curse and a blessing.   What Recruit failed to realize is that Type A men in their 40s, usually in the throes of some form of mid-life crisis, are extreme and unpredictable creatures.  We push the envelope in search of a fountain of youth.  Our grey, receding hairlines (and our teenagers) remind us daily that we’re old and so ‘not with it’.  But on Saturday mornings, with the shovel flag planted, our workouts renew us.  And the opportunity to toe the line with some 20 or 30-something is exactly what dreams are made of.  We want you to crack – not break altogether, but a little fissure is just enough to make us feel young again … and for you to possibly say ‘man, those old guys still got game’.

Addition by Subtraction:  Our numbers were low this week.  Only 7 brave souls.  But the flame burned strong and the purpose of our gathering was never in question.  We were rewarded.

Timbers or Toothpicks:  Doc (with those calibrated deltoids) has brought to my attention that our timbers appear to be getting lighter.   Perhaps Doc is just getting stronger? 

Natick Labs:  Yours truly hit the field decked in new compression socks (full calf sleeves actually) and Vibram 5 Fingers.   Thumbs up to Smoke for the compression sleeves.  Amazing gear my brother.  The jury remains out on the monkey-feet.  More proto-testing next week.

 

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS & NEWS

Calibration

Pull-up calibration is NEXT WEEK.  Looking for great gains from everyone.     

10x Teaser

Congrats to Doc for hitting the 10x milestone.  Reminder, Smoke is giving everyone a pair of compression socks on your 10x.  Check out Smoke’s website.

http://4mylegs.com/

 

 

CHANGE - Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) are now on Mon-Wed-Fri leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance/pace varies (4-7 miles).  This is a base builder for Blue Ridge Relay.  We will slowly begin bumping up mileages in mid June.  You don’t have to be on the BRR team to run with this group.  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta

Bar Napkin Math

The Lactic Report,  5.14.11  “Bar Napkin Math”

SANDBAGS X.  

Colonel Keith Davenport, Cmdr, 918^th Bomber Group:  Are you gonna drive em til they crack?

Col Frank Savage:  Take it easy Keith.

Colonel Davenport:  Take it easy?  Bomber Command can take it easy.  Those boys are flesh and blood.  They’ll die for you but they gotta know they have a chance and they know they haven’t got one.   Frank, they can add.  They know a man’s chances run out in 15 missions.  Somebody’s gotta give them a limit.  A goal… some hope of living.  What do you guys think they’re made of?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Colonel Savage to General Pritchard:  He’s (Col Davenport) gonna bust wide open.  And he’s gonna do it to himself too.  Why?  Because he’s a first rate guy.  Because those are his boys and he’s thinking about them instead of missions.  Over-identification with his men …. I think that’s what they call it.

~ Twelve O’clock High, a movie on leadership dedicated to the bomber crews (1942).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tieZKOnvVeY

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (10)

Buck (10)

KX (9)

Doc (9)

Michigan (8)

Smoke (7)

Rock (4)

Halle Berry (2)

The Workout

The ante was raised for Sandbags X.  It was both a time to celebrate ten weeks of blood, sweat & tears and to remind ourselves why we gather ‘in the gloom’ each week.  Our group continues to strengthen on many levels and we can celebrate that.  This is all much bigger than any one individual.   

Ring o’ Fire:  Warm up stretches and a short run followed by a nasty version of ‘Round the Horn’.  18 cards (each with a named exercise) placed in the middle of the Ring.  Twenty reps each (by my count).  One by one, everyone got a chance in the center to lead a pain session.  T-claps to everyone for sounding off like you gotta pair and pushing the group when it was your turn to lead.  Nice to see KX leading ‘Michael Flatleys’ … had no idea that boy had Irish rhythm. 

The Dirty Details:  After the Ring, we broke down into two-man teams for Seven Lanes of Pain.  A small mod to previous set ups; we ran each lane as an ‘up & back’ before going to the next lane.  A few new additions: the Overhead Timber Squat and the Seated Tire/Rope Pull.    According to the faithful, it was one of the hardest Sandbags to date.  #MoreisMore 

As always, T-claps to Michigan for leading our stretch.   FWIW, Michigan will be out next week so I’m looking for a new warm-up leader.  Step forward.

Random grains of sand ….

Rattle and Hum:

As noted above, KX started our Ring with ‘Michael Flatleys’.  His version of the Irish folk dance looked eerily more like the mosh pit at a U2 concert.  Doc on the other hand, took it in the extreme other direction, complete with jazz hands.  You two make me sick.

Ergonomics:

To any and all who curse my tractor tire, let’s set the record straight.  1)  Lift with your legs.  2)  Flip with your arms.  3)  Engage your core through the entire movement.   4)  Curse yourself (not the tire).   There’s no such thing as an ergonomically safe tractor tire.  It’s supposed to be inconvenient and unwieldy.  Embrace it.

Sailing to Byzantium (NOT):

Doc brought smoke to both the Ring and Seven Lanes of Pain.  T-claps for the effort and consistency.   I think the sages will have to wait a few more years for your arrival.  Sandbags is ‘no country for old men’.

MIAs:  ROTC, Crank, Big German, and Stick to name a few … c’mon ladies, you’re missed … and we won’t be cutting you any breaks when you return. 

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS & NEWS

Calibration

Next pull-up calibration is Week XII.  Work on this during the week.  Goal is a minimum of +5.   

10x Teaser

Smoke rewarded J-Delta and Buck with compression socks for hitting the 10 mark on attendance.  Awesome gear my Brother.   Keep showing up brothers and you too can be supa-fly & swagerrific.  Check out Smoke’s website.

http://4mylegs.com/

 

 

CHANGE - Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) are now on Mon-Wed-Fri leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance/pace varies (4-7 miles).  This is a base builder for Blue Ridge Relay.  We will slowly begin bumping up mileages in mid June.  You don’t have to be on the BRR team to run with this group.  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta

Top Dead Center

The Lactic Report,  5.07.11  “Top Dead Center”

SANDBAGS IX.  

Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things, distinguishes the strong soul from the weak. ~ Thomas Carlyle

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (9)

Buck (9)

KX (8)

Doc (8)

Michigan (7)

Smoke (6)

Rock (3)

Wes (call-sign TBD) (1)

Will (call-sign TBD) (1)

Holly (call-sign TBD) (1)

Holly’s Friend (call-sign TBD) (1)

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire (aka ‘The OCTAGON’):  Instead of just being a pain warm-up, the Ring was our universe for this session of Sandbags.  Sixteen pain stations (yes, all in a circle – but you knew that).  In an effort to breed new leaders, everyone took a turn in the middle to lead (ahem… ALMOST everyone <holly>, ahem). Active recovery consisted of two laps around the horn after each set.  It was a heavy cardio day with some gnarly core stuff – (hey, you’ll thank me when the pool opens for the summer, alright?)’.

The Dirty Details:  Following 50 minutes in the Ring, we offered our sacrifices at the pull-up bar and on tire pulls.  It was gut buster morning.  No one ‘Fitty Cented’ the workout and there were no reports of a ‘Big Spit’. 

As always, T-claps to Michigan for leading our stretch.   

Random grains of sand ….

(F)NGs: 

Glad to see several new faces this week.  The jury remains out on call-signs. 

MIAs:

I haven’t called out our MIAs lately but seriously brothers, you’re missed. 

Rounding Error:

Seems ‘Fitty Cent’ took exception to my method of counting my favorite core exercise “Bar B-Q Ribs”. 

[J-Delta:  ‘… 20 reps, this is a two-count exercise, ready …’]

[Buck:  ‘Which means it’s actually 40 reps …]

Buck, my loyal and faithful brotha’.  You showed up for the very first Sandbags on a cold, wet morning in March and you’ve never missed a week.  You were even the first one to reply “I’M IN” to the BRR email.  You’re as hardcore as they come … and yet you question my counting method?  For the record, 20 never equals 40 and 40 never equals 20.  Besides, more is always more.  Please see the following VLOI (video letter of instruction) posted by DreddCNC for further explanation. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBiZcG5Tq1Y&feature=related)

Blueberry Shorts:

The terms ‘fashion statement’ & ‘KX’ are rarely paired together.  For a guy who is normally channeling his inner Johnny Cash (all black workout gear), the blueberry shorts had zero chance of flying under the radar.  The Big German would’ve been jealous.  Did those things come with a raspberry beret? 

ANNOUNCEMENTS & NEWS

Blue Ridge Relay

Email went out last week.  Send me your response (IN or OUT) ASAP.  Last day to ‘hard commit’ is June 4^th. 

Calibration

Next pull-up calibration is Week XII.  Work on this during the week.  Goal is a minimum of +5.  

10x Teaser

Smoke has a surprise in store for everyone after your 10^th Sandbags.  Keep showing up brothers, keep showing up. 

 

Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) on Tues & Thurs leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance varies (4-7 miles).  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta

Raison d’etre

The Lactic Report,  4.30.11  “Raison d’etre”

SANDBAGS VIII.  

Stay loose. Stay liquid. Laugh a lot. But be ready. That's what Dupree's doing with his life's little pod. Staying nimble till I get the call from the mother ship. My raison d'étre. Then I'd fight. Then you'll see Dupree coming in here throwing seven different kinds of smoke!

~ Dupree (Owen Wilson) from “You, Me and Dupree”

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (8)

Buck (8)

KX (7)

Doc (7)

Michigan (6)

Cornbread (6)

One-Lap (6)

Smoke (5)

NOLA (2)

Rock (2)

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire:  A ‘Call to Arms’ for the brave & faithful that showed up.  Heavy doses of push-ups, pull-ups and Carolina Lockdowns with lots of core work to break up the routine (a lil’ something we like to call ‘active recovery’).  Pull-up calibration followed the Ring.  Very happy to report incremental gains across the board.  Clearly this whole Sandbags ‘thang’ is working.  Forget the globo-gym fools gold … lift what God gave you and repeat.  #Whodathunk? 

The Dirty Details:  After a steady 20 min in da’ Ring, we broke off into 2-man teams to run the gauntlet.  Cornbread & KX (paired up like two lost socks) made a quick break from the main pack.  One-Lap & Rock formed the chase group with Michigan & Smoke and NOLA & Doc (respectively … or should I say respectably?) comprising the main peleton.   J-Delta, left hanging courtesy of Buck (hence forward known as ‘Fitty Cent’, see below) brought up the rear.  The usual prescription of tire pulls, tire flip, karaoke, sprints, tire run, and spider crawls with a heavy serving of Timbers, ad nauseam. 

As always, T-claps to Michigan for leading our stretch.   

Random grains of sand ….

Dollar Menu:

Doc noted the absence of any evidence of an early morning visit to Mickey D’s.  Those sausage biscuits may warm your belly, but rest assured, Chez Croc serves nothing but ‘bad fuel’.  (See Lactic Report, Week VII “The Big Spit” for clarification).

Fitty-Cent:

Buck, who shares a perfect attendance record, raptured half way through the morning without proper clearance from the tower.  As a result, our even number 10 became the composite number 9.  Seriously Brother, did you think we wouldn’t notice?  While Sandbags doesn’t have the expansive lexicon our Tar Heeled brethren claim, I’m officially proposing the addition of ‘Fitty-Cent’, defined as cutting short and/or skipping out without prior approval (not to be confused with an Epstein). 

Regression Analysis:

Ok Smoke, so I had to dust off some old Statistics 101 notes to compile this.  You see, you’ve got these dependent and independent variables and you can predict the value of one when the others change and there’s this other thing called the Method of Least Squares … and truthfully, I don’t know what any of that crap means …. I was a Liberal Arts major, but even I know that if you take an entire week off, it’s gonna hurt like a bloody blister when you come back.  No worries mah’ brutha’, you’re back.  Kick it up a notch this week and we’ll see you next Saturday. 

Tire Queens:

[Doc:  ‘NOLA and I had to ‘mod’ the tire pull, but it was cool’]

Cool?  An Unauthorized MOD?  Reeeaaalllllyy?  And the two of you just came up with this on your own?  Well I’ll see your MOD and raise you.  The price of poker just went up.   

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS & NEWS

Calibration

Next pull-up calibration is Week XII.  Work on this during the week.  Goal is a minimum of +5.   

10x Teaser

Smoke has a surprise in store for everyone after your 10^th Sandbags.  Keep showing up brothers, keep showing up. 

 

Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) on Tues & Thurs leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance varies (4-7 miles).  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta

The Big Spit

The Lactic Report,  4.23.11  “The Big Spit”

SANDBAGS VII.  

Maitre D: And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.

Mr Creosote: No.

Maitre D: Oh sir! It's only a tiny little thin one.

Mr Creosote: No. Bugger off - I'm full... [Belches]

Maitre D: Oh sir... it's only “wafer” thin.

Mr Creosote: Look - I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely

stuffed. Bugger off.

Maitre D: Oh sir, just... just “one”...

Mr Creosote: Oh all right. Just one.

Maitre D: Just the one, sir... voila... bon appetit...

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (7)

Buck (7)

KX (6)

Doc (6)

Michigan (5)

Cornbread (5)

Rock (1)

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire:  The requisite tune-up to get the blood flowing and the muscles warmed up.  In addition to a steady dose of push-ups, mountain climbers, dumbbell pass, spider crawls and squats, we tested everyone’s coordination (and ability to dance?) with a new low body / IT band ballistic stretch - The Michael Flatley.  Hard to explain and apparently hard to do (at least for some), but effective all the same.  Beyond elevating the heart rate, this jump/twist produced a few laughs which we all enjoyed.  Cornbread, my very southern brother, we weren’t laughing at you, we were laughing with … ahem … ok, I can’t lie; we were definitely laughing AT YOU.      

The Dirty Details:  A return to weeks I & II with a six lane course (2 laps) run in two man teams.  The tire pull, karoke, sprints, tire run, and tire flip.  With pain stations at the beginning and end of every lane, the teams never got a break.  This week’s assortment included pull-ups, timber thrusters, sandbag squats, timber presses, timber lunges, mountain climbers, and Bode Millers.  Kudos to KX and Doc for the early morning set-up help.  (Yep, La Fiesta held me captive on Friday evening).

As always, T-claps to Michigan for leading our warm up run & stretching.    

Random grains of sand ….

(F)NG:

A warm Sandbags welcome to Rock.  We’re glad you joined us brother and hope you’ll come back for more of the same.  Keep bringing it.  Rock Steady!

Colored Eggs:

Too many MIAs this week to mention (but you know who you are).  Being Easter weekend, we’ll assume all of our missing brothers were busy coloring eggs.  If your ears were burning on Saturday morning, look no further.  Yep, we talked about you.

Bellweather:

When Cornbread breaks a sweat, you know life is good and the course is a challenge.  Thanks for the props my brother.  You’re my gauge for “too hard vs too easy”.

Mr. Creosote:

[Cornbread to Rock:  ‘Brother, was that you over there by the truck blowin’ chunks’?]

[Rock:  ‘No man, I had to take a leak.’]

Rock, if you say it was just a latrine break, then it was just a latrine break.  But there’s no shame in a well timed chunder.  Bottom line, you finished the morning and it if took a solid yak to make it happen, rock on! 

Operator Error:

[Buck:  ‘So I figured out the problem with my video camera … well, actually my daughter figured it out’.]

[J-Delta: ‘Tell me more’]

[Buck: ‘All my video was fuzzy and Sadie told me I needed to click this button on the side; go figure’]

So it was the video camera huh?  You know Doc was suspicious of the whole ‘let me skip this exercise so I can video the group’ in week V.  We’ll be expecting all new footage next week.  Put that owners manual next to the commode.

Wet Back:

[Doc: ‘We haven’t been on our backs all morning.  Is someone afraid of a little wet grass?  I say we crank out some flutter kicks’.]

Ask you shall receive.  The Flutter Kick! … Ready, Begin.  1-2-3-One, 1-2-3-Two, …

ANNOUNCEMENTS & NEWS

Calibration

Reminder, pull-up calibration is next week.  I have all the totals from our baseline and look forward to seeing huge improvement. 

10x Teaser

Smoke has a surprise in store for everyone after your 10^th Sandbags.  Keep showing up brothers, keep showing up. 

 

Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) on Tues & Thurs leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance varies (4-7 miles).  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta

[Monty Python's "Meaning of Life"]

Occam's Razor

The Lactic Report,  4.09.11  “Occam’s Razor”

SANDBAGS VI.  

Even better, get outside and do sprints, pushups, jump over things, pick up big rocks and throw them, do pullups from a tree, climb up rocks, swim, do a crabwalk or monkeywalk, take a sledgehammer or pick and slam it into the ground, flip tractor tires, and generally get a great workout with very little equipment.

~ Zen Habits – Simple Rules of Fitness

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (6)

Buck (6)

KX (5)

Doc (5)

One-Lap (5)

Michigan (4)

Smoke (4)

Cornbread (4)

Crank (3)

ROTC (2)

Big German (2)

Pelosi (1)

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire:  Based on positive feedback from those present last week, another linear course was offered up at Sandbags VI for the brave who answered the early wake up call.  A lot of the classics sprinkled with a few mods to keep it fresh.  T-claps to KX and One-Lap for the set up help on Friday evening.  You guys rock steady. 

The Dirty Details:  Six & six with tire runs and karaoke sandwiched in between.  The Northside Buffet served up a hearty helping of Timber Lunges, Thrusters, Cockroach, Timber Press, Star Jumps, Flutter Kicks and Bode Millers.   The Southside Café featured everyone’s favorite side dishes: Mtn Climbers, Spartan Push Ups, Pull Ups, and Bar B-Q Ribs along with two Blue Plate combos; the wheel barrow deadlift served with a side of Sandbag passes and a new menu item, the Sandbag Pullovers sautéed with V-Ups.

As promised, it hurt worse than a bloody blister.

T-claps to Michigan for leading our warm ups & stretching.  Very solid. 

Random grains of sand ….

Volcanic Ash

While discussing different options to course set up …

[Cornbread:  ‘Brother, whatever you do, don’t mess with the tire run.  That’s my baby.’]

[J-Delta:  ‘No worries.  It’s got your name on it.’]

The raw diesel power with which Cornbread (pronounced ‘Cone-bread’) can pull a stack of tires makes this station a spectator sport.  Seriously, we could sell tickets.  Gotta be the U of H Warrior spirit you learned at Manoa.  Keep up the good work.

Achilles

[J-Delta:  ‘Nice job this morning.  I know your plantar is killing you’]

[Doc:  ‘Yep, it hurts.  Now hook up the tires so I can pull those $%#& and finish this’]

Lest anyone think we had a loafer this morning, a serious case of plantar fasciitis has Doc moving at half-speed.  Wasn’t expecting the good Doctor to show … much less give it 110%.  Inspirational oh learned One, inspirational.

Matthew McConaughey

[Crank:  ‘I’m feeling some muscle-ups today.  I’m feeling it’]

And so he was… or so I was told.  Off the record, I didn’t see it so it never happened.  Bring that action back next session so we can video it.  Is it a requirement to do muscle-ups sans shirt?  Just askin?

Et tu, Brute?

[J-Delta:  Ok, it’s time for Mark to have a nick-name’] 

[Big German:  ‘Man, I’ve been waiting all morning for this.  “PELOSI’]

Wow, bring a guy to his first Sandbags and then stab him in the back with that?   Hey, what are friends for, right?   For better or worse, I think the name is gonna stick.  BAM!

Brevity is the soul of wit

[J-Delta:  ‘Ok, let’s take a 60-second break to catch our breath.  While we do, let me explain last week’s reference to “The Bus to Abilene.”]

<crickets>  <panting> <time passes> <3 minutes later>

[J-Delta:  ‘So, that’s the danger of groupthink’]

[Doc:  ‘What happened to one minute recovery?’]

Spielberg

T-claps to Buck for capturing video this morning.  Was the camera actually rolling or was that just a ploy to skip a few stations?  Awaiting video evidence to belie a vicious rumor (started by Doc).

Fashionista

[J-Delta:  ‘Ok, time to get dirty.  On your backs’]

[Big German: ‘You know Germans are very meticulous and don’t like to soil their clothing’]

[Doc: ‘ I’m just glad you’re not wearing your blueberry tights again’]

[Big German: ‘Those were NOT tights; they were SILKS’]

Glad we got that cleared up.  Guessing this is some left over kit from your days with the Bundesliga (circa 1964).

Designated Driver

T-claps to ROTC for a returning appearance and hats off to your DD.   A 6 a.m. wake up call to my daughter so she can pick you up and get you there.  Man, times have changed.  You’re a lucky brother, … a lucky brother indeed.

10x Teaser

Smoke has a surprise in store for everyone after your 10^th Sandbags.  Just keep showing up brothers. 

IMPORTANT – NO SANDBAGS ON 4/16/11.  Join SouthCrest Church for “Do Good” (Community work-day) or sign up for CrossRoads Church’s 5k road race.  SANDBAGS will resume on 4/23/11.

 

Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) on Tues & Thurs leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance varies (4-7 miles).  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta

Scent of a Woman

The Lactic Report,  4.02.11  “Scent of a Woman”

SANDBAGS V.  

“Outta order?  I'll show you outta order! You don't know what outta order is!  Outta order.  Who do you think you're talkin' to? I've been around, you know?”

LTC Frank Slade

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (5)

Buck (5)

KX (4)

Doc (4)

Michigan (3)

Smoke (3)

Cornbread (2)

Stick (2)

NOLA (1)

Buckeroo (1)

Marginal.   Ahh, the rigors of youth.   One-Lap, dragging from another six weeks of academia and chlorine, headed south (with chaperones) for a few days in the Redneck Riviera (Destin actually, not PCB – hey, it’s way classier).  Make no mistake, Yours Truly (J-Delta) and Doc triangulated the Magellan, Galileo and Coriolis satellites to track your every move in high def streaming video.  Smile for the camera.

No Wheels.  A two car study of metallurgy earlier this week left ROTC unscathed; the same can not be said for the XTERRA.   Because I’m a softie for guys in a slump, I’m not dropping you into the next category (yet), but git ‘yer butt back out here.

One & Done(s).  The Big German, Aggie, Crank.  <crickets>  

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire:  Ok, so nothing about this morning’s layout resembled a ring or circle.  Truth be told, KX and I opted for the ‘low maintenance” set up last night.   But ‘Ring o’ Fire’ is a catchy name and we’re keeping it, so if you’re hung up on some geometric inconsistency of our layout, may I suggest 20 Timber Lunges to soften your demeanor. Although linear in nature, we managed to honor the spherical roots of the Ring by employing Archimedes’ Method of Exhaustion (ahem… at least OUR version of it).  By all accounts it lived up to the name.

The Dirty Details:  After the warm up, a 40 minute series of never ending wind sprints with a buffet of torture on each end of the field.  Thrusters, Timber Press, Burpees, Sandbag squats, Carolina Lockdowns, Push-ups, Timber Lunges, Plank, Pull-ups, Flutters, Bode Millers, (I’m forgetting a few).   We dispatched two-man teams on each iteration to pull the tires and waited (impatiently) in Plank until they rejoined the group. As promised, it hurt worse than a bloody blister.

Random grains of sand ….

Genetic Drift

[Cornbread:  ‘I love ya like collard greens and cornbread’].  Seriously brother, …? Fantasia lyrics on a Saturday morning?  And this from a guy who catches catfish on a cane pole and uses soap for bait?  You just moved to the top of the prayer list.

Groupthink

[J-Delta:  ‘Ok KX, this next one’s all yours.  Call it’]

[KX:  ‘How bout some Timber Lunges … all the way to the sod patch and back’]

[J-Delta: ‘I’m with you brother, let’s go’]

Funny how some ideas sound really good at first.  I’m officially renaming Timber Lunges the “Bus to Abiliene”, a fitting reference to a well known and oft-taught cautionary tale of the dangers of groupthink.  #whatwasithinking

It’s a chromosome thing ….

[Buck:  ‘So NOLA, you ran 8 miles earlier this morning huh?  Are you training for something’?]

[NOLA: ‘Nope’]

[Buck:  ‘So you just felt like running 8 and then coming here for another hour of THIS’]

[NOLA: ‘Pretty much’]

Two very important take-aways here.  #1:  Buck, never EVER ask a woman to explain herself.  #2  NOLA, we have no dress code here.  You don’t have to leave the red cape and bedazzled thigh high boots in the car.  We all know you’re BA; it’s cool.   

T-Claps

Buckeroo:  for braving the cold & dark to plant the Shovel flag this a.m. and putting in a great effort.  Hang in there on the Timbers.  They’re tough but I like your ‘Never Quit’ attitude.  Hoorah!

Smoke & Stick:  Back after a week MIA and looking strong.  While on the road last week, Smoke introduced the Treadmill gang at the Courtyard to his version of Ring o’ Fire.  They were not amused.  I love it.  Just like I told you – you can do this workout ANYWHERE.   Consistency mah brutha’, consistency!

Michigan:  Sour gut & all … way to hang.  Just say no to crop dusting.   

 

Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) on Tues & Thurs leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance varies (4-7 miles).  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta