The Big Spit

The Lactic Report,  4.23.11  “The Big Spit”

SANDBAGS VII.  

Maitre D: And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.

Mr Creosote: No.

Maitre D: Oh sir! It's only a tiny little thin one.

Mr Creosote: No. Bugger off - I'm full... [Belches]

Maitre D: Oh sir... it's only “wafer” thin.

Mr Creosote: Look - I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely

stuffed. Bugger off.

Maitre D: Oh sir, just... just “one”...

Mr Creosote: Oh all right. Just one.

Maitre D: Just the one, sir... voila... bon appetit...

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (7)

Buck (7)

KX (6)

Doc (6)

Michigan (5)

Cornbread (5)

Rock (1)

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire:  The requisite tune-up to get the blood flowing and the muscles warmed up.  In addition to a steady dose of push-ups, mountain climbers, dumbbell pass, spider crawls and squats, we tested everyone’s coordination (and ability to dance?) with a new low body / IT band ballistic stretch - The Michael Flatley.  Hard to explain and apparently hard to do (at least for some), but effective all the same.  Beyond elevating the heart rate, this jump/twist produced a few laughs which we all enjoyed.  Cornbread, my very southern brother, we weren’t laughing at you, we were laughing with … ahem … ok, I can’t lie; we were definitely laughing AT YOU.      

The Dirty Details:  A return to weeks I & II with a six lane course (2 laps) run in two man teams.  The tire pull, karoke, sprints, tire run, and tire flip.  With pain stations at the beginning and end of every lane, the teams never got a break.  This week’s assortment included pull-ups, timber thrusters, sandbag squats, timber presses, timber lunges, mountain climbers, and Bode Millers.  Kudos to KX and Doc for the early morning set-up help.  (Yep, La Fiesta held me captive on Friday evening).

As always, T-claps to Michigan for leading our warm up run & stretching.    

Random grains of sand ….

(F)NG:

A warm Sandbags welcome to Rock.  We’re glad you joined us brother and hope you’ll come back for more of the same.  Keep bringing it.  Rock Steady!

Colored Eggs:

Too many MIAs this week to mention (but you know who you are).  Being Easter weekend, we’ll assume all of our missing brothers were busy coloring eggs.  If your ears were burning on Saturday morning, look no further.  Yep, we talked about you.

Bellweather:

When Cornbread breaks a sweat, you know life is good and the course is a challenge.  Thanks for the props my brother.  You’re my gauge for “too hard vs too easy”.

Mr. Creosote:

[Cornbread to Rock:  ‘Brother, was that you over there by the truck blowin’ chunks’?]

[Rock:  ‘No man, I had to take a leak.’]

Rock, if you say it was just a latrine break, then it was just a latrine break.  But there’s no shame in a well timed chunder.  Bottom line, you finished the morning and it if took a solid yak to make it happen, rock on! 

Operator Error:

[Buck:  ‘So I figured out the problem with my video camera … well, actually my daughter figured it out’.]

[J-Delta: ‘Tell me more’]

[Buck: ‘All my video was fuzzy and Sadie told me I needed to click this button on the side; go figure’]

So it was the video camera huh?  You know Doc was suspicious of the whole ‘let me skip this exercise so I can video the group’ in week V.  We’ll be expecting all new footage next week.  Put that owners manual next to the commode.

Wet Back:

[Doc: ‘We haven’t been on our backs all morning.  Is someone afraid of a little wet grass?  I say we crank out some flutter kicks’.]

Ask you shall receive.  The Flutter Kick! … Ready, Begin.  1-2-3-One, 1-2-3-Two, …

ANNOUNCEMENTS & NEWS

Calibration

Reminder, pull-up calibration is next week.  I have all the totals from our baseline and look forward to seeing huge improvement. 

10x Teaser

Smoke has a surprise in store for everyone after your 10^th Sandbags.  Keep showing up brothers, keep showing up. 

 

Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) on Tues & Thurs leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance varies (4-7 miles).  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta

[Monty Python's "Meaning of Life"]

Occam's Razor

The Lactic Report,  4.09.11  “Occam’s Razor”

SANDBAGS VI.  

Even better, get outside and do sprints, pushups, jump over things, pick up big rocks and throw them, do pullups from a tree, climb up rocks, swim, do a crabwalk or monkeywalk, take a sledgehammer or pick and slam it into the ground, flip tractor tires, and generally get a great workout with very little equipment.

~ Zen Habits – Simple Rules of Fitness

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (6)

Buck (6)

KX (5)

Doc (5)

One-Lap (5)

Michigan (4)

Smoke (4)

Cornbread (4)

Crank (3)

ROTC (2)

Big German (2)

Pelosi (1)

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire:  Based on positive feedback from those present last week, another linear course was offered up at Sandbags VI for the brave who answered the early wake up call.  A lot of the classics sprinkled with a few mods to keep it fresh.  T-claps to KX and One-Lap for the set up help on Friday evening.  You guys rock steady. 

The Dirty Details:  Six & six with tire runs and karaoke sandwiched in between.  The Northside Buffet served up a hearty helping of Timber Lunges, Thrusters, Cockroach, Timber Press, Star Jumps, Flutter Kicks and Bode Millers.   The Southside Café featured everyone’s favorite side dishes: Mtn Climbers, Spartan Push Ups, Pull Ups, and Bar B-Q Ribs along with two Blue Plate combos; the wheel barrow deadlift served with a side of Sandbag passes and a new menu item, the Sandbag Pullovers sautéed with V-Ups.

As promised, it hurt worse than a bloody blister.

T-claps to Michigan for leading our warm ups & stretching.  Very solid. 

Random grains of sand ….

Volcanic Ash

While discussing different options to course set up …

[Cornbread:  ‘Brother, whatever you do, don’t mess with the tire run.  That’s my baby.’]

[J-Delta:  ‘No worries.  It’s got your name on it.’]

The raw diesel power with which Cornbread (pronounced ‘Cone-bread’) can pull a stack of tires makes this station a spectator sport.  Seriously, we could sell tickets.  Gotta be the U of H Warrior spirit you learned at Manoa.  Keep up the good work.

Achilles

[J-Delta:  ‘Nice job this morning.  I know your plantar is killing you’]

[Doc:  ‘Yep, it hurts.  Now hook up the tires so I can pull those $%#& and finish this’]

Lest anyone think we had a loafer this morning, a serious case of plantar fasciitis has Doc moving at half-speed.  Wasn’t expecting the good Doctor to show … much less give it 110%.  Inspirational oh learned One, inspirational.

Matthew McConaughey

[Crank:  ‘I’m feeling some muscle-ups today.  I’m feeling it’]

And so he was… or so I was told.  Off the record, I didn’t see it so it never happened.  Bring that action back next session so we can video it.  Is it a requirement to do muscle-ups sans shirt?  Just askin?

Et tu, Brute?

[J-Delta:  Ok, it’s time for Mark to have a nick-name’] 

[Big German:  ‘Man, I’ve been waiting all morning for this.  “PELOSI’]

Wow, bring a guy to his first Sandbags and then stab him in the back with that?   Hey, what are friends for, right?   For better or worse, I think the name is gonna stick.  BAM!

Brevity is the soul of wit

[J-Delta:  ‘Ok, let’s take a 60-second break to catch our breath.  While we do, let me explain last week’s reference to “The Bus to Abilene.”]

<crickets>  <panting> <time passes> <3 minutes later>

[J-Delta:  ‘So, that’s the danger of groupthink’]

[Doc:  ‘What happened to one minute recovery?’]

Spielberg

T-claps to Buck for capturing video this morning.  Was the camera actually rolling or was that just a ploy to skip a few stations?  Awaiting video evidence to belie a vicious rumor (started by Doc).

Fashionista

[J-Delta:  ‘Ok, time to get dirty.  On your backs’]

[Big German: ‘You know Germans are very meticulous and don’t like to soil their clothing’]

[Doc: ‘ I’m just glad you’re not wearing your blueberry tights again’]

[Big German: ‘Those were NOT tights; they were SILKS’]

Glad we got that cleared up.  Guessing this is some left over kit from your days with the Bundesliga (circa 1964).

Designated Driver

T-claps to ROTC for a returning appearance and hats off to your DD.   A 6 a.m. wake up call to my daughter so she can pick you up and get you there.  Man, times have changed.  You’re a lucky brother, … a lucky brother indeed.

10x Teaser

Smoke has a surprise in store for everyone after your 10^th Sandbags.  Just keep showing up brothers. 

IMPORTANT – NO SANDBAGS ON 4/16/11.  Join SouthCrest Church for “Do Good” (Community work-day) or sign up for CrossRoads Church’s 5k road race.  SANDBAGS will resume on 4/23/11.

 

Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) on Tues & Thurs leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance varies (4-7 miles).  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta

Scent of a Woman

The Lactic Report,  4.02.11  “Scent of a Woman”

SANDBAGS V.  

“Outta order?  I'll show you outta order! You don't know what outta order is!  Outta order.  Who do you think you're talkin' to? I've been around, you know?”

LTC Frank Slade

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (5)

Buck (5)

KX (4)

Doc (4)

Michigan (3)

Smoke (3)

Cornbread (2)

Stick (2)

NOLA (1)

Buckeroo (1)

Marginal.   Ahh, the rigors of youth.   One-Lap, dragging from another six weeks of academia and chlorine, headed south (with chaperones) for a few days in the Redneck Riviera (Destin actually, not PCB – hey, it’s way classier).  Make no mistake, Yours Truly (J-Delta) and Doc triangulated the Magellan, Galileo and Coriolis satellites to track your every move in high def streaming video.  Smile for the camera.

No Wheels.  A two car study of metallurgy earlier this week left ROTC unscathed; the same can not be said for the XTERRA.   Because I’m a softie for guys in a slump, I’m not dropping you into the next category (yet), but git ‘yer butt back out here.

One & Done(s).  The Big German, Aggie, Crank.  <crickets>  

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire:  Ok, so nothing about this morning’s layout resembled a ring or circle.  Truth be told, KX and I opted for the ‘low maintenance” set up last night.   But ‘Ring o’ Fire’ is a catchy name and we’re keeping it, so if you’re hung up on some geometric inconsistency of our layout, may I suggest 20 Timber Lunges to soften your demeanor. Although linear in nature, we managed to honor the spherical roots of the Ring by employing Archimedes’ Method of Exhaustion (ahem… at least OUR version of it).  By all accounts it lived up to the name.

The Dirty Details:  After the warm up, a 40 minute series of never ending wind sprints with a buffet of torture on each end of the field.  Thrusters, Timber Press, Burpees, Sandbag squats, Carolina Lockdowns, Push-ups, Timber Lunges, Plank, Pull-ups, Flutters, Bode Millers, (I’m forgetting a few).   We dispatched two-man teams on each iteration to pull the tires and waited (impatiently) in Plank until they rejoined the group. As promised, it hurt worse than a bloody blister.

Random grains of sand ….

Genetic Drift

[Cornbread:  ‘I love ya like collard greens and cornbread’].  Seriously brother, …? Fantasia lyrics on a Saturday morning?  And this from a guy who catches catfish on a cane pole and uses soap for bait?  You just moved to the top of the prayer list.

Groupthink

[J-Delta:  ‘Ok KX, this next one’s all yours.  Call it’]

[KX:  ‘How bout some Timber Lunges … all the way to the sod patch and back’]

[J-Delta: ‘I’m with you brother, let’s go’]

Funny how some ideas sound really good at first.  I’m officially renaming Timber Lunges the “Bus to Abiliene”, a fitting reference to a well known and oft-taught cautionary tale of the dangers of groupthink.  #whatwasithinking

It’s a chromosome thing ….

[Buck:  ‘So NOLA, you ran 8 miles earlier this morning huh?  Are you training for something’?]

[NOLA: ‘Nope’]

[Buck:  ‘So you just felt like running 8 and then coming here for another hour of THIS’]

[NOLA: ‘Pretty much’]

Two very important take-aways here.  #1:  Buck, never EVER ask a woman to explain herself.  #2  NOLA, we have no dress code here.  You don’t have to leave the red cape and bedazzled thigh high boots in the car.  We all know you’re BA; it’s cool.   

T-Claps

Buckeroo:  for braving the cold & dark to plant the Shovel flag this a.m. and putting in a great effort.  Hang in there on the Timbers.  They’re tough but I like your ‘Never Quit’ attitude.  Hoorah!

Smoke & Stick:  Back after a week MIA and looking strong.  While on the road last week, Smoke introduced the Treadmill gang at the Courtyard to his version of Ring o’ Fire.  They were not amused.  I love it.  Just like I told you – you can do this workout ANYWHERE.   Consistency mah brutha’, consistency!

Michigan:  Sour gut & all … way to hang.  Just say no to crop dusting.   

 

Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) on Tues & Thurs leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance varies (4-7 miles).  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta