Project Mayhem

The Lactic Report, 5.28.11  “Project Mayhem”

SANDBAGS XII.  

“Do you know what a duvet is?   It's a comforter...it's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word?  No. What are we then?  Right. We are consumers. We're the bi-products of a lifestyle of obsession.”

Tyler Durden ~ “Fight Club”

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (12)

Buck (12)

Doc (11)

KX (10)

Michigan (9)

One-Lap (8)

NOLA (3)

Halle Berry (3)

Buckeroo (2)

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire:  The neighborhood mile for a warm-up and then right into the ‘Ring’ for Round the Horn.   Lots of commentary from Doc, KX, and NOLA during the Ring … something about the ‘Counting’ video and other gibberish drool.  Keep it up ladies.  I’ve been assured by Dredd and OBT that a visit to our little Outpost is forthcoming.  You can explain yourselves to them when the time comes.  In the meantime, I’ll count the cadence and you count the repetitions. 

The Dirty Details:  After 20 minutes in the Ring, two-man teams tackled the Six Lanes of Pain.  This week focused mostly on upper body:  Tire Flip, Dumbbell Kettles, Spartan Pushups, Seated Tire Pull, etc.  We also introduced a classic Crossfit workout “Chelsea”; well, actually Chelsea’s half-sister twice removed…   only seven rounds with no rest of 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups, 15 squats.   For those still struggling with pull-ups, it was a helluva challenge.   Expect more of the same as we hit Fran next week.

Random grains of sand ….

Fashion Statement:   Week two demo-ing the 5-Fingers.  One-Lap rocked his Vibrams with me.  No issues with my Achilles but dang those things are fugly.

Snooze Buttons:   Forget the alarm clock’s warning … several brethren mailed it in on Saturday.  Late-night spread-sheeting for Smoke which we will excuse.  ROTC, who made it to my box twice last week for organized pain, missed movement altogether.  

Theory of More:  I’ll be the first to admit the term ‘burpee’ was a new one for me a few years ago.  Apparently that’s the popular name among the globo-gym crowd (and sadly even among my fellow Crossfitters).   FWIW, I cut my teeth on an exercise called ‘squat thrusts’.  The year was 1977, I was a sophomore in high school and my football coach (Coach Bramblett) loved squat thrusts.  His theory of physical conditioning was simple:  More is always more.  Fast forward to 1985, Fort Benning, GA, where another Devil in disguise (SFC Knox) reigned terror on all who stepped foot onto his PT field.   He too subscribed to the cleansing power of squat thrusts and the Theory of More.  Regardless of what you call it, the squat thrust (aka burpee) is a cornerstone of every workout.  Don’t get hung up on the verbiage, just do the work. 

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS & NEWS

Calibration

Pull-up calibration was postponed to NEXT WEEK.  Looking for great gains from everyone.     

10x Teaser

Congrats to KX for hitting the 10x milestone.  Reminder, Smoke is giving everyone a pair of compression socks on your 10x.  Check out Smoke’s website.

http://4mylegs.com/

Announced Inspection

In the not too distant future, a Qrusader contingent (Dredd and OBT) will make a visit to our Sandbags workout.  Date is TBD.  More to follow.

 

Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) are now on Mon-Wed-Fri leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance/pace varies (4-7 miles).  This is a base builder for Blue Ridge Relay.  We will slowly begin bumping up mileages in mid June.  You don’t have to be on the BRR team to run with this group.  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta

Seven

The Lactic Report,  5.21.11  “Seven”

SANDBAGS XI.  

Private Joker: “The dead know only one thing: it is better to be alive.”

~ Full Metal Jacket

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (11)

Buck (11)

Doc (10)

Smoke (8)

One-Lap (7)

Rock (5)

Recruit (1)*

*(F)NG

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire:  Three laps around the field followed by warm up stretches and then another nasty version of ‘Round the Horn’.   Twenty reps, a nice even number, was a source of acrimony and gall.  Brethren, anything less isn’t even worth getting out of bed for… and if the only thing you have to complain about is the number of repetitions then consider yourselves truly blessed.  Hey, the world was supposed to end Saturday at 6pm; I wanted to make this one helluva a workout … just in case.

The Dirty Details:  After the Ring, two-man teams tackled the notorious Seven Lanes of Pain.  For some it was ‘bizness as usual’; for others it was …<ahem> a nail biter.  When an FNG shows up, you never quite know how that will turn out.  Virgin territory my brothers, virgin territory.  But Recruit survived and he’s a better man for it.  A scrod alert midway thru the Ring was untimely.  A yak-attack during Timber Lunges was just … well, let’s just call it unfortunate.   That’s hallowed ground you’re standing on – don’t yak on my field.

Random grains of sand ….

Full Calendars:   KX, Michigan and Halle Berry.  Some e-dribble trickled in mid-week about soccer tourneys and trout streams.   

Trend Lines:  When a brother texts me on a Friday night and says ‘I’ll be there’ and then fails to show … well, we assume something came up and we take it in stride.  No need for apologies – just bring your mojo next week and all will be forgiven.  But don’t make it a habit … just sayin’

The Big Spit (part deux):  Brothers, do we need a class on proper nutrition?  Recruit is a newbie so I’ll concede him this one yak.  Perhaps he gave my mid-week email describing what to expect only a cursory read.  Or perhaps our relative age difference (25+ years) gave Recruit a false sense of security.  I remember being 21 and bullet proof.  All that piss & vinegar; it can be both a curse and a blessing.   What Recruit failed to realize is that Type A men in their 40s, usually in the throes of some form of mid-life crisis, are extreme and unpredictable creatures.  We push the envelope in search of a fountain of youth.  Our grey, receding hairlines (and our teenagers) remind us daily that we’re old and so ‘not with it’.  But on Saturday mornings, with the shovel flag planted, our workouts renew us.  And the opportunity to toe the line with some 20 or 30-something is exactly what dreams are made of.  We want you to crack – not break altogether, but a little fissure is just enough to make us feel young again … and for you to possibly say ‘man, those old guys still got game’.

Addition by Subtraction:  Our numbers were low this week.  Only 7 brave souls.  But the flame burned strong and the purpose of our gathering was never in question.  We were rewarded.

Timbers or Toothpicks:  Doc (with those calibrated deltoids) has brought to my attention that our timbers appear to be getting lighter.   Perhaps Doc is just getting stronger? 

Natick Labs:  Yours truly hit the field decked in new compression socks (full calf sleeves actually) and Vibram 5 Fingers.   Thumbs up to Smoke for the compression sleeves.  Amazing gear my brother.  The jury remains out on the monkey-feet.  More proto-testing next week.

 

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS & NEWS

Calibration

Pull-up calibration is NEXT WEEK.  Looking for great gains from everyone.     

10x Teaser

Congrats to Doc for hitting the 10x milestone.  Reminder, Smoke is giving everyone a pair of compression socks on your 10x.  Check out Smoke’s website.

http://4mylegs.com/

 

 

CHANGE - Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) are now on Mon-Wed-Fri leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance/pace varies (4-7 miles).  This is a base builder for Blue Ridge Relay.  We will slowly begin bumping up mileages in mid June.  You don’t have to be on the BRR team to run with this group.  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta

Bar Napkin Math

The Lactic Report,  5.14.11  “Bar Napkin Math”

SANDBAGS X.  

Colonel Keith Davenport, Cmdr, 918^th Bomber Group:  Are you gonna drive em til they crack?

Col Frank Savage:  Take it easy Keith.

Colonel Davenport:  Take it easy?  Bomber Command can take it easy.  Those boys are flesh and blood.  They’ll die for you but they gotta know they have a chance and they know they haven’t got one.   Frank, they can add.  They know a man’s chances run out in 15 missions.  Somebody’s gotta give them a limit.  A goal… some hope of living.  What do you guys think they’re made of?

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Colonel Savage to General Pritchard:  He’s (Col Davenport) gonna bust wide open.  And he’s gonna do it to himself too.  Why?  Because he’s a first rate guy.  Because those are his boys and he’s thinking about them instead of missions.  Over-identification with his men …. I think that’s what they call it.

~ Twelve O’clock High, a movie on leadership dedicated to the bomber crews (1942).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tieZKOnvVeY

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (10)

Buck (10)

KX (9)

Doc (9)

Michigan (8)

Smoke (7)

Rock (4)

Halle Berry (2)

The Workout

The ante was raised for Sandbags X.  It was both a time to celebrate ten weeks of blood, sweat & tears and to remind ourselves why we gather ‘in the gloom’ each week.  Our group continues to strengthen on many levels and we can celebrate that.  This is all much bigger than any one individual.   

Ring o’ Fire:  Warm up stretches and a short run followed by a nasty version of ‘Round the Horn’.  18 cards (each with a named exercise) placed in the middle of the Ring.  Twenty reps each (by my count).  One by one, everyone got a chance in the center to lead a pain session.  T-claps to everyone for sounding off like you gotta pair and pushing the group when it was your turn to lead.  Nice to see KX leading ‘Michael Flatleys’ … had no idea that boy had Irish rhythm. 

The Dirty Details:  After the Ring, we broke down into two-man teams for Seven Lanes of Pain.  A small mod to previous set ups; we ran each lane as an ‘up & back’ before going to the next lane.  A few new additions: the Overhead Timber Squat and the Seated Tire/Rope Pull.    According to the faithful, it was one of the hardest Sandbags to date.  #MoreisMore 

As always, T-claps to Michigan for leading our stretch.   FWIW, Michigan will be out next week so I’m looking for a new warm-up leader.  Step forward.

Random grains of sand ….

Rattle and Hum:

As noted above, KX started our Ring with ‘Michael Flatleys’.  His version of the Irish folk dance looked eerily more like the mosh pit at a U2 concert.  Doc on the other hand, took it in the extreme other direction, complete with jazz hands.  You two make me sick.

Ergonomics:

To any and all who curse my tractor tire, let’s set the record straight.  1)  Lift with your legs.  2)  Flip with your arms.  3)  Engage your core through the entire movement.   4)  Curse yourself (not the tire).   There’s no such thing as an ergonomically safe tractor tire.  It’s supposed to be inconvenient and unwieldy.  Embrace it.

Sailing to Byzantium (NOT):

Doc brought smoke to both the Ring and Seven Lanes of Pain.  T-claps for the effort and consistency.   I think the sages will have to wait a few more years for your arrival.  Sandbags is ‘no country for old men’.

MIAs:  ROTC, Crank, Big German, and Stick to name a few … c’mon ladies, you’re missed … and we won’t be cutting you any breaks when you return. 

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS & NEWS

Calibration

Next pull-up calibration is Week XII.  Work on this during the week.  Goal is a minimum of +5.   

10x Teaser

Smoke rewarded J-Delta and Buck with compression socks for hitting the 10 mark on attendance.  Awesome gear my Brother.   Keep showing up brothers and you too can be supa-fly & swagerrific.  Check out Smoke’s website.

http://4mylegs.com/

 

 

CHANGE - Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) are now on Mon-Wed-Fri leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance/pace varies (4-7 miles).  This is a base builder for Blue Ridge Relay.  We will slowly begin bumping up mileages in mid June.  You don’t have to be on the BRR team to run with this group.  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta

Top Dead Center

The Lactic Report,  5.07.11  “Top Dead Center”

SANDBAGS IX.  

Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things, distinguishes the strong soul from the weak. ~ Thomas Carlyle

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (9)

Buck (9)

KX (8)

Doc (8)

Michigan (7)

Smoke (6)

Rock (3)

Wes (call-sign TBD) (1)

Will (call-sign TBD) (1)

Holly (call-sign TBD) (1)

Holly’s Friend (call-sign TBD) (1)

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire (aka ‘The OCTAGON’):  Instead of just being a pain warm-up, the Ring was our universe for this session of Sandbags.  Sixteen pain stations (yes, all in a circle – but you knew that).  In an effort to breed new leaders, everyone took a turn in the middle to lead (ahem… ALMOST everyone <holly>, ahem). Active recovery consisted of two laps around the horn after each set.  It was a heavy cardio day with some gnarly core stuff – (hey, you’ll thank me when the pool opens for the summer, alright?)’.

The Dirty Details:  Following 50 minutes in the Ring, we offered our sacrifices at the pull-up bar and on tire pulls.  It was gut buster morning.  No one ‘Fitty Cented’ the workout and there were no reports of a ‘Big Spit’. 

As always, T-claps to Michigan for leading our stretch.   

Random grains of sand ….

(F)NGs: 

Glad to see several new faces this week.  The jury remains out on call-signs. 

MIAs:

I haven’t called out our MIAs lately but seriously brothers, you’re missed. 

Rounding Error:

Seems ‘Fitty Cent’ took exception to my method of counting my favorite core exercise “Bar B-Q Ribs”. 

[J-Delta:  ‘… 20 reps, this is a two-count exercise, ready …’]

[Buck:  ‘Which means it’s actually 40 reps …]

Buck, my loyal and faithful brotha’.  You showed up for the very first Sandbags on a cold, wet morning in March and you’ve never missed a week.  You were even the first one to reply “I’M IN” to the BRR email.  You’re as hardcore as they come … and yet you question my counting method?  For the record, 20 never equals 40 and 40 never equals 20.  Besides, more is always more.  Please see the following VLOI (video letter of instruction) posted by DreddCNC for further explanation. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBiZcG5Tq1Y&feature=related)

Blueberry Shorts:

The terms ‘fashion statement’ & ‘KX’ are rarely paired together.  For a guy who is normally channeling his inner Johnny Cash (all black workout gear), the blueberry shorts had zero chance of flying under the radar.  The Big German would’ve been jealous.  Did those things come with a raspberry beret? 

ANNOUNCEMENTS & NEWS

Blue Ridge Relay

Email went out last week.  Send me your response (IN or OUT) ASAP.  Last day to ‘hard commit’ is June 4^th. 

Calibration

Next pull-up calibration is Week XII.  Work on this during the week.  Goal is a minimum of +5.  

10x Teaser

Smoke has a surprise in store for everyone after your 10^th Sandbags.  Keep showing up brothers, keep showing up. 

 

Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) on Tues & Thurs leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance varies (4-7 miles).  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta

Raison d’etre

The Lactic Report,  4.30.11  “Raison d’etre”

SANDBAGS VIII.  

Stay loose. Stay liquid. Laugh a lot. But be ready. That's what Dupree's doing with his life's little pod. Staying nimble till I get the call from the mother ship. My raison d'étre. Then I'd fight. Then you'll see Dupree coming in here throwing seven different kinds of smoke!

~ Dupree (Owen Wilson) from “You, Me and Dupree”

Okay, the box score … 

Starting Line up:

J-Delta (8)

Buck (8)

KX (7)

Doc (7)

Michigan (6)

Cornbread (6)

One-Lap (6)

Smoke (5)

NOLA (2)

Rock (2)

The Workout

Ring o’ Fire:  A ‘Call to Arms’ for the brave & faithful that showed up.  Heavy doses of push-ups, pull-ups and Carolina Lockdowns with lots of core work to break up the routine (a lil’ something we like to call ‘active recovery’).  Pull-up calibration followed the Ring.  Very happy to report incremental gains across the board.  Clearly this whole Sandbags ‘thang’ is working.  Forget the globo-gym fools gold … lift what God gave you and repeat.  #Whodathunk? 

The Dirty Details:  After a steady 20 min in da’ Ring, we broke off into 2-man teams to run the gauntlet.  Cornbread & KX (paired up like two lost socks) made a quick break from the main pack.  One-Lap & Rock formed the chase group with Michigan & Smoke and NOLA & Doc (respectively … or should I say respectably?) comprising the main peleton.   J-Delta, left hanging courtesy of Buck (hence forward known as ‘Fitty Cent’, see below) brought up the rear.  The usual prescription of tire pulls, tire flip, karaoke, sprints, tire run, and spider crawls with a heavy serving of Timbers, ad nauseam. 

As always, T-claps to Michigan for leading our stretch.   

Random grains of sand ….

Dollar Menu:

Doc noted the absence of any evidence of an early morning visit to Mickey D’s.  Those sausage biscuits may warm your belly, but rest assured, Chez Croc serves nothing but ‘bad fuel’.  (See Lactic Report, Week VII “The Big Spit” for clarification).

Fitty-Cent:

Buck, who shares a perfect attendance record, raptured half way through the morning without proper clearance from the tower.  As a result, our even number 10 became the composite number 9.  Seriously Brother, did you think we wouldn’t notice?  While Sandbags doesn’t have the expansive lexicon our Tar Heeled brethren claim, I’m officially proposing the addition of ‘Fitty-Cent’, defined as cutting short and/or skipping out without prior approval (not to be confused with an Epstein). 

Regression Analysis:

Ok Smoke, so I had to dust off some old Statistics 101 notes to compile this.  You see, you’ve got these dependent and independent variables and you can predict the value of one when the others change and there’s this other thing called the Method of Least Squares … and truthfully, I don’t know what any of that crap means …. I was a Liberal Arts major, but even I know that if you take an entire week off, it’s gonna hurt like a bloody blister when you come back.  No worries mah’ brutha’, you’re back.  Kick it up a notch this week and we’ll see you next Saturday. 

Tire Queens:

[Doc:  ‘NOLA and I had to ‘mod’ the tire pull, but it was cool’]

Cool?  An Unauthorized MOD?  Reeeaaalllllyy?  And the two of you just came up with this on your own?  Well I’ll see your MOD and raise you.  The price of poker just went up.   

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS & NEWS

Calibration

Next pull-up calibration is Week XII.  Work on this during the week.  Goal is a minimum of +5.   

10x Teaser

Smoke has a surprise in store for everyone after your 10^th Sandbags.  Keep showing up brothers, keep showing up. 

 

Mid week training.  Morning runs (6:00 a.m.) on Tues & Thurs leaving from Summergrove Golf Club; distance varies (4-7 miles).  Show up or contact me or KX if you want to run.

Be sure to invite a friend for next week.  May our group grow in numbers and in strength.    

J-Delta